If you’re researching couples retreats to rescue your marriage then you’d better know the difference between training and education. Love Odyssey Couples Retreats are the most intensive couples training retreats available.
It’s not just a matter of falling back “in love.” It’s also not a matter of learning the right “tools.” Tools are consciously applied when you need them. The reason why many relationships deteriorate is because of something called “automaticity.” Over the years, couples bruise each other with defensive acts of which they are mostly unaware. They may give commands instead of risking the disappointment from asking and being ignored. They may hide behind chores, parenting or work instead of asking for intimate attention. They may demand rules about what is “right” instead of risking the conflict of negotiation. Most couples don’t even face the truth that they have subtle fears that drive their automatic defenses. Most couples retreats will usually offer education classes to learn tools. But you can’t just sit in a class with other couples and learn how to overcome automatic defenses. It requires a different kind of learning called “conditioning.” On our Love Odyssey couples counseling retreats we help one couple at a time to target their particular pattern of toxic defenses. Then we train them how to later continue training each other into using constructive defenses instead of toxic ones. Education is just the starting point. By the time each couple finishes their Love Odyssey they’re ready to continue reciprocally training each other at home. The resulting sense of respect and safety allows the love to re-emerge. That’s how it works.
Our nautical couples retreats are uniquely designed to rescue your relationship. Each private retreat intersperses intensive couples counseling with fun and exploration while you and your partner cruise the scenic rivers and sounds of North Carolina aboard the pilot house sailboat “Dragon Lady.” Captain/Author/Dr. Bryce Kaye and his wife Helen have been happily married for 32 years. They will counsel and train you both for about 4 hours each day of the retreat. Bryce holds a doctorate in personality psychology, is a 30+ year veteran marriage therapist and has authored the book “The Marriage First Aid Kit” (see below). Our couples retreats intersperse intensive training with fun. You will explore the rich history of the different ports, enjoy the quaint B&B’s and the local shops and the restaurants where you will sample the local culinary fare. The novelty of your explorations will pace the harder relationship work. You will learn to manage different metamotivational states to strengthen and protect intimacy and affection. You will learn autohypnotic techniques to manage difficult emotions such as anger and fear. There will be meditative exercises, behavioral exercises and often a sunrise resentment burial ceremony on the beach. These techniques have all been evolved from the neuroscience of how behavior and emotions interact over time.
How we are different
Our Love Odyssey couples retreats employ neuro-science based strategies to save your relationship. Most couples retreats employ communication based or behavior based strategies. Behavioral research can easily identify toxic or neglectful behaviors in a relationship. What behavioral research can’t specify is how to change the emotions driving those behaviors. Our couples retreats are based on the science of emotional learning. Merely teaching good behavior isn’t enough. That’s because good behavior often goes out the window when partners feel anxious, afraid, ashamed or angry. Our solution is to train each partner how to cultivate emotional stability over time. The result is that our couples learn what to do in a relationship but also develop the emotional stability that allows them to do it under pressure.