A Greeting from Dr. Bryce Kaye
Welcome to our web site. It is my hope that you find our site both interesting and helpful. For many years, I have wanted to more openly share the knowledge from the many lessons about human nature that my former clients have taught me. More than any graduate school or formal training program, my clients have both taught and inspired me with their heroic struggles to face down inner demons and to open themselves more completely to life. It is with much gratitude that I now hope to pass along some of this experiential knowledge so that others may benefit. The following “Marital First Aid Kit” contains a distillation of the most common ailments that I have found to blight couples in distress. The metaphor of “First Aid” applies here because the offered suggestions are exactly that: They are first interventions that are not under professional supervision, not comprehensive, and not meant to be final solutions. However, like real “first aid”, there is often a real value in proactively addressing a problem before more authoritative help can be arranged. I encourage you to think of this “kit” in such a manner. Think of it as a collection of things that you and your partner can try before you see a marital counselor. If you need more help afterwards, you will at least have gained some momentum for working together in counseling. Even if the interventions don’t immediately help, your reactions to the attempted interventions will be useful to your future counselor for planning new strategy. In the best case scenario, the interventions may help you get past being “stuck” and you may progress to resolve your difficulties yourselves.
In this “Marital First Aid Kit,” I have divided the problem syndromes into two categories. The first and most severe category contains the four most toxic syndromes found among couples. The second category contains the most frequent syndromes that are less toxic. The reason why I separated the two categories is that the most toxic syndromes are unlikely to be constructively addressed by a couple working without outside help. Instead, I offer some suggestions for what you can do individually and how you may go about getting professional help. For the less toxic syndromes, you and your partner may find that you can make productive gains by working together before going for professional help.
Good luck in your endeavors, or I should better say “Good Work”!