Our Love Odyssey couples counseling retreats are private, intensive and are specifically designed to turn around the most troubled relationships. We let you explore a nautical environment while Captain/author/Dr. Bryce Kaye and his wife Helen sail you to different ports of call along with scenic rivers and sounds of North Carolina. Bryce is a psychologist, an author (See The Marriage First Aid Kit ) and a 30+ year veteran marriage therapist who has dealt with the most difficult marital cases. While cruising in their pilot house sailboat “Dragon Lady” you and your partner will receive up to 4 hours of intensive couples counseling throughout each day. At each port of call you will stay in a quaint B&B of your choosing, explore the quaint shops and history of each town and try the local fare at the different restaurants. All of this exploration is part of the design to shift your emotional states out of the rigid stuck patterns of the past.
Couples Counseling Retreats With a Unique Strategy
Read about the methodical strategy of these couples counseling retreats despite the vacation-like setting.
Interspersed with all of the novelty, Bryce and Helen teach and train couples in the science of growing and protecting affection. These counseling retreats intensively train couples how to notice and manage metamotivational states, how to use auto-hypnotic tools and how to protect affection from being strangled by unconscious inhibition. There will be exercises for you to practice and there may even be a sunrise resentment burial ceremony on the beach. With so much at stake we encourage you to do your homework by checking out all the rich information on this website. If you watch all the videos and read the book chapters then you’ll learn things you never knew before. Even if you don’t choose one of our couples counseling retreats you’ll be better prepared to help your relationship.
Read Chapters from Dr. Kaye’s next book: When Love & Anger Got Married
Here I discuss the role of meaning in one’s life and how “meaning” and “spirituality” don’t have to rely on organized religion.
In this discussion I explain the central paradox of human inconsistency and why an unconventional view of human nature is more accurate.
Here I describe how one can choose personal meaning in life.
It’s not enough to intellectually choose life’s meaning. In this chapter I describe how someone can use specific strategies to embed it deep into one’s character.
This chapter describes a central mystery about human nature and how I think it can be solved.
Here are some of the most common problem syndromes afflicting couples:
The Most Toxic Relationship Problems
If your relationship suffers one of the following problems it is best to get professional help instead of trying to go it alone. In fact, lay attempts to confront your partner can dangerously backfire. A professional counselor can make it safer for an intervention. Couples counseling will be more productive when you and your partner are more stable. Our couples counseling retreats have helped couples to get started on their road to stability along with planning for intensive follow up services.
The most toxic relationship problems are as follows:
Either partner is using frequent alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, or other mood altering chemical.
Either partner is keeping contact with another person with whom they have previously had a sexual/emotional bond.
Either partner has demonstrated through their past behavior or by verbal threat that they may physically assault or restrict movement of the other.
Either party intentionally tries to lie or deceive the other in order to avoid exposing broken agreements or irresponsible behavior.
Less Toxic Relationship Problems
Both parties have evolved to interact with each other like business managers, going about the business of managing everyday life but without mutual play or sentimental affirmation of each other. Special time is not allocated for intimate talking. No significant effort is made to share intimate time away from parenting roles. Each party feels “taken for granted.” Arguments flare up about small control issues or events that are interpreted as indicating a lack of appreciation of each other. This is one of the most common problems addressed on our couples counseling retreats.
One party is more comfortable with the expression of intense feelings. The other party dreads intensity, especially heated conflict. The person who dreads intensity finds ways to emotionally withdraw by finding responsibilities to take up their time. The other person sees their partner withdrawing and reacts by aggressively pursuing contact. They often intrude by expressing their resentments in a derogatory manner. The pursuer/intruder may also openly interpret the withdrawing party’s feelings and motives. The withdrawing party reacts by withdrawing further. The pursuer feels like they are being driven “crazy.” This is another of the most common syndromes addressed on our couples counseling retreats.
One party (the initiator) has somehow wound up with all the responsibility for planning the fun part of the relationship. The dependent party may be very responsible in their job role. However, when it comes to family or relationship activity, they look to the initiator for ideas. The dependent party is “easy” and ready to agree. The initiator feels as if they have another child for a partner. They miss the excitement of another perspective besides their own and they feel lonely although they may cover it over with anger.
One party (the “task-master”) has somehow wound up with all of the responsibility for overseeing the household chores. The other party often doesn’t “help”. The task-master frequently reminds the delinquent helper what needs to be done. The delinquent helper often forgets if they’re not frequently reminded.
The couple starts a conflict over a specific issue but soon escalates to general blaming behavior. Past misdeeds are raised up in an attempt to invalidate the other. Nothing gets accomplished and the couple retreats from one another with much hostility. This syndrome does not refer to conflict which threatens violence or actually becomes violent. Our couples counseling retreats train couples how to manage their emotions to have more productive conflict.
One party is trying to reduce spending to live within a realistic budget, the other party is often unmindful of what they spend. The less mindful person may not be forthcoming about what they buy.
One party wants it more, the other party wants it less. This does not refer to syndromes in which there is emotional conflict or emotional alienation affecting sexual interest. Rather, this is merely referring to different levels of sexual drive.
In a conflict situation, one part is more likely to yell and scream before retreating in a “huff.” In some couples, the rager may disapprove of their own behavior but feel helpless to prevent it. They may try to avoid conflict situations altogether.