Tim from Lakeland, Fla. Recently Separated (Q & A)

Dr. Bryce Kaye gives advice to a recenly separated husband who wants his wife back.Q:  Me and my wife have very recently separated. She stated she is unhappy, not committed to us and we have grown apart. I work long hours and am trying to change that. I suggested we work it out or seek counseling and she denied, stating time and space was the only thing that can help right now. Is there anything I can do to get her back?  I know she loves me and seems like she wants to try and work it out sometimes and other times she doesn’t.  Anything I can do?  

A: Tim, my suggestion is to make sure you don’t over-pursue.  You might INVITE her to go to couples counseling with you by giving her that message every several weeks.  Beyond that, a hot pursuit only shows her that you’re a desperate anxious child and she will lose some respect for you.  If she’s stating that she’s not committed anymore then there’s a possibility that she’s rationalizing an affair.  If that’s the case, there’s nothing you can do or should try to do.  In any case, you may want to decide on a timeline in your own mind (not to be shared with her) which you will allocate to wait to see if she turns around.  I wouldn’t recommend waiting the rest of your life or even a few years.  Six months might be reasonable.  Beyond that and the odds get slim.

  Good luck, Bryce

For information about Helen and Bryce’s Love Odyssey marriage retreats visit http://www.odysseymarriageretreats.com  where the strategy behind these couples retreats  is described in detail.

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