Q: When u know your spouse is lying about talking to an ex wife on the phone and he tries to erase all contact should you confront him each time since it always creates an argument– even when he says he does not tell me cause it always upsets me. It feels deceitful and like he is hiding something. Yes they have adult children. I have forced myself to remain calm in discussions to encourage an open future response. When confronted about not returning my call stated he did not have his phone — but phone record showed call to her during lunch break.
A: Kathy, the biggest problem you have is that your husband is not being transparent about his communication with his talking to his ex wife. As a rule of thumb, it’s best to be totally open about ANY personal communication with the opposite sex as long as it’s not business related. It becomes even more important if there’s been a past sexual bond between the two. It’s a bad idea to give your husband a hard time if he’s being totally open with you. But if he isn’t open and he’s lying and deceitful about talking to his ex wife then that’s the biggest problem If he can’t stop that and he can’t be totally transparent about talking to his ex wife, then I’d suggest you try to get him to agree to some marriage counseling to fix the foundation of your relationship. Truth and responsibility are your foundation. Good luck. – Bryce Kaye