Carly from Kansas City, Mo.: Husband Rejects Marriage Counseling (Q & A)

Dr. Bryce Kaye gives advice to a woman whose husband rejects marriage counseling.Q: How can I convince my husband to go with me to a marriage counselor? He does not believe that going will accomplish anything except take more out of our already tight budget. Thank you, Carly.

A: Carly.  I would suggest that you give him several choices.  Do the research and give him data on 3 marriage counselors.  Get him to choose one of them.  By reframing his choice to be among the three, he will be less likely to focus on his choice of opposing you.  Another option would be to negotiate a contingency contract. It would look like this.  You would agree to temporarily suspend the idea of marriage counseling if he would come up with a plan of his own for improving the marriage.  However, he would need to agree that if his plan does not improve the marriage to your satisfaction within 6 months (or another mutually acceptable time frame), then he would be committed to trying your plan of marriage counseling. Hope this helps. – Bryce Kaye

For information about Helen and Bryce’s Love Odyssey marriage retreats visit  where the strategy behind these couples retreats  is described in detail.

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